Anger Makes Mouth Work Faster Than Mind

In Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna articulates that, there are three gateways to hell of self-destruction for the soul. These are lust, anger and greed. Therefore one should abandon these three completely.

 

• Lust (Desire): If a person is lustful about something then he deviates from the primary objective of life. He is ready to do anything to satisfy his lust without thinking about right or wrong.
• Greed: Greed forces man to crave for more and more, and that drives him towards material pleasures and he is no more into the spiritual world. Attachment for material pleasures takes a man away from God.
• Anger: It destroys love and compassion. Anger makes a man violent. He is not compassionate to others. Angry people are not able to understand other’s feelings and thoughts. Anger blocks the ability to love and respect. Also, anger leads to irrational thinking. They are unable to see the reality as it is.

So, lust, greed and anger actually disturb the balance of mind and soul. These things block the spiritual path and therefore called the gateways to hell.

 

A Basic Human Emotion - Anger 

All of us definitely get irritated, annoyed, frustrated and angry with this person or that person for this reason or that reason. We want things done in certain way and when they are not done in that way, we get angry. Anger may be the outcome of frustration, humiliation, jealousy, hurt or sadness, feeling unable to control a situation, feeling threatened or frightened, feeling misunderstood or not listened to and so on.

Anger is seen in the way we speak, change in facial expressions, irritation and a raise in our voice. If we further lose control, we may shout, slam a door, bang the table or even physically strike somebody. Whatever it is, the fact remains that all of us do get angry, difference being only in the intensity and frequency of emotion.

 

Does Anger Create Problems?

Anger is a normal emotion. However, anger becomes a problem when it begins to affect a person’s daily life and causes them to react in ways that might hurt themselves and/or others around them. In general, anger can give birth to various problems like:

• Physical health: Constantly operating at high levels of stress and anger can make us more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.
• Mental health: Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy, and clouds our thinking, making it harder to concentrate or enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.
• Career: Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy. But lashing out only alienates our colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect.
• Relationships: Anger can cause lasting scars in the people we love most and get in the way of friendships and work relationships. Explosive anger makes it hard for others to trust us, speak honestly, or feel comfortable—and is especially damaging to children.

 

Tips For Managing Our Anger And Deal With Someone Else’s Anger

• Breathe: Anger is often an instant response to a situation. It can range from mild frustration to an immense temper. But, most of the time, anger reduces or calms down. So if we find ourselves feeling weighed down by anger, we should take a few minutes to breathe deeply so as to calm down.
• Step Away: Words said in anger are rarely well thought out. And we can’t take them back. If we find ourselves really angry at a colleague, sometimes it’s better just to admit those feelings. It’s fine to say, “I just need a few minutes to be alone and get my thoughts together.”
• Think About It: Very often we are angry about the things we misunderstood. We may think our friend did something purposely to upset us, but when we look closer at the situation realize it was unintentional. Or something that really annoyed us – like brother eating the last of your favorite chocolate – may seem less important on second thought. So, just think about it.
• Laughter Therapy: Dr. Asthana (Boman Irani) in the movie ‘Munnabhai MBBS’, gave a strong message to advocate laughter therapy whenever anger sets in. It is the practice of reminding oneself of the intrusion of anger so as not to let it interfere on one’s intellect. The practice of pressing the panic button is what we have to habituate ourselves with in this fight with anger.
• Express It (The Right Way): Sometimes we get angry because the same things keep happening over and over – our partner interrupts us, or a colleague keeps making mistakes. Addressing these problems in a moment of anger can make things worse. But it is important to bring it up in the right way because the other person(s) involved may not realize they are making you angry. We can express our feelings in healthy ways to  resolve conflict in a positive way considering the following aspects-
• Make the relationship your priority. Respect the other person and their viewpoint.
• Focus on the present. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what we can do in the present to solve the problem.
• Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if we’re unwilling or unable to forgive.

 

Anger is like a poison. Would we want to drown in it?

Offcourse, No. We should try to cultivate an attitude of calmness at all times. Taking care of our overall mental and physical well being can help us ease tension and diffuse anger problems.

• Manage stress: We can try practicing relaxation techniques such as mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or deep breathing.
• Talk to someone we trust: Nothing eases stress more effectively than chatting face-to-face with a friend or loved one. The person doesn’t have to provide answer; they just need to be a good listener
• Get enough sleep: We can try to get seven to nine hours of good quality sleep.
• Exercise regularly: It’s an effective way to ease stress, feel relaxed and positive throughout the day. 

 

Just Smile And Be Happy !!

Have you ever spotted a newborn's first grin when he's asleep? Have you witnessed a baby's smile when he notices you making silly sounds like mooing? He'll squeal and laugh when he plays with you... Isn't it? You might have also noticed kids running around, constantly smiling and laughing on playground or in house. I am sure; none of you have missed such an eye catching sight.

As per research, Kids smile 10 times more than the adults. Kids enjoy living in the present moment. Kids do not have many expectations. They observe every new thing with a new perspective. They are happy to know about each and everything around them. They are happy and pleased with whatever they get.

Happiness is a state of being satisfied with what you have got. Be mentally prepared for whatever is the situation. If you are unsatisfied with what you have got and crave for more and more; the happiness drifts away and unhappiness sets in. Smile is an involuntary reflection of happiness. Many things like meeting a beloved, a sudden gentle breeze on a hot afternoon, a soft soothing music, sleeping in mother’s lap, spreads happiness and brings a smile.

“Is A Smile A Blessing From God?” You can leave your comment on this, after going through the entire article. I appeal every reader should think on below points to know the pros of smiling.   

1.    Smiling Makes You Look Young and Attractive

Have you ever seen yourself in mirror smiling?? If not, you must daily see. Look at the beauty you hold in your smile. And believe me, you are the only owner of that most beautiful smile. You can attract most of the people by your smile. Not only this, a smile can also make you look more youthful. The muscles you use to smile also lift the face, making you appear younger.

2.  Smiling Is Contagious And Spreads Happiness Around 

Have you ever tried to consciously spread smiles to others on any day? If not, I suggest you should try it ones. Thanks to 'The Kapil Sharma Show' and 'Chala Hava Yeu Dya' star cast who have spread smiles and laughter in millions of homes. They have succeeded in keeping away the worries of many people during their show time and beyond.

Smiling not only has the power to elevate your mood, but it can also change the moods of others and make things happier. You might have experienced this with a happy to go lucky person. He can lighten up the mood of all people in the room by his smiles. Yes, it is proven that smiles are "contagious!"

3.    Smiling Helps Us Stay Positive And Achieve Success

A happy, positive expression will serve you well in life. The people who smile regularly appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and are more likely to be approached. This is also particularly true for challenging situations such as job interviews: a smiling, relaxed persona indicates confidence and an ability to cope well in stressful situations. This will also benefit your career; build healthy relationships with colleagues and favorable impression on your employers.

4.    Smiling Is Beneficial For Health

(i)    Elevates Your Mood

When you smile, there is movement of muscles in your face, which is interpreted by your brain, which in turn releases the chemicals endorphins. These endorphins are responsible for making you feel happy. While the release of endorphins is increased, the stress hormone cortisol is reduced. Cortisol is more active when we feel stressed and contributes to the unpleasant feelings we experience, and by lowering it we can reduce these negative feelings. The more you stimulate your brain to release this chemical the more often you feel happier and relaxed.

(ii) Relieves Your Stress

Stress has entered in everyone's life in one or other form. It is often seen that students get stress due to examinations, corporate employees get stress due to assigned targets, some get stress due financial constraints, and so on. The signs of stress show up on faces. Smiling prevents you from looking tired and can actually help reduce stress. Believe it or not, smiling can reduce stress even if you don't feel like smiling but you smile. When you are stressed, take the time to put on a smile. You and those around you will reap the benefits. 

(iii) Lowers Your Blood Pressure

You may have heard that many people join laughing clubs as doctors quote 'Laughter is the Best medicine'. Science says laughing expands the lungs, stretches the muscles in the body and stimulates homeostasis. As a result, it lowers the blood pressure.

(iv) Boosts Your Immune System

Smiling can also boost your overall health. The act of smiling actually helps the human immune system to function more effectively. It is thought that when you smile, immune function improves because you are more relaxed (thanks to the release of certain neurotransmitters). In addition to taking precautions like washing your hands, why not try to prevent the cold and flu by smiling?

If you want to reap the benefits of smiling, apply these simple ways to bring more smiles into your day:

• Smile and laugh regularly.
• Watch funny films, TV, and theater shows.
• Spend time with friends and family that make you feel happy.
• Find things to smile and laugh about.

Overcoming Life Threatening Unconscious Choices

In the post Choices impact Success of Life, we have emphasized on the positive effects of  making right choices. We have also quoted that we are free to make any choice in our life; however we don’t have control over its consequences. Whenever we make a choice, we have to think upon its consequence. We have to relate our choice with our goal. If our goal is to live a healthy lifestyle, then one of our choices should be intake of healthy diet. Ones we have made a choice, we have to consciously work on it - keep a track of our present habits, note the required changes to be made and then slowly but consistently adopt the changes to achieve the desired goal.

The Bright Side Of Unconscious Choices

Unconscious actions do not assign extra tasks to mind. The answers to what, when, where is already fitted in. Actions are carried out without any conscious process. They form habits. Habits as we know avert conscious decision making through routine selection of the same choices every time. Our unconscious mind can guide us right through routine decisions without consciously realizing what’s going on.

Do you remember the early childhood days? Our parents taught us to thank God and receive His blessing as soon as we woke up each morning. They told us, 'God answers morning prayers more than other prayers at any other time'. Folding hands for prayer was a conscious act then as we were learning and inculcating a new habit. Now, we are habituated. We do not have to remind ourselves that it's time for prayer. Our unconscious mind does its work. Isn't it a good habit? Obviously, it is a good habit. In other words, we consciously learned the ‘right’ choice a long time ago….and we still make the same decision regularly. 

We first make our habits then our habits make us

My Grandpa was a great self - disciplined personality. He woke up regularly at 4 am to water plants in our garden. He would spend nearly three hours in nature's beauty watching birds, planting trees and gardening. One day, while working with him, I punched a question out of my childish brain, "Appa, you already have lots of work the whole day around. Then why do you do all this work? We have a gardener, wouldn't he do this?" Do you know what he replied? He gently said, “These trees give all of us fresh air to breathe. Then isn't it everyone's responsibility to take care of them?"  I realized the importance of his conscious effort behind gardening. His hobby of gardening and a well balanced diet routine helped him live a fit healthy life.

Unconscious Choices Aren’t Always The Best Ones…!!

The consequences of many unconscious decisions are often dreadful. For example, some unconscious decisions result in death. The unconscious decision making process works against us when we’re unconsciously carrying out orders that are presently doing us harm.

Smoking and alcohol consumption, for example, are daily decisions many don’t think much about, consciously. And the consequences are usually threatening in the long run.

How Can We Alter Such Unconscious Choices?

One of the best solutions for revising the life threatening unconscious choices is to think consciously about the daily decisions which can seriously damage our health. Developing good habits will help us achieve our work, health and relationship goals quickly and easily whereas continuing with bad habits will likely cause us pain, frustration and disappointment.Given that 95% of our thoughts, feelings and actions are habitual, it is important to learn how to set aside bad habits and adopt new empowering ones.

We can follow these steps to make or break any habit: 

Step 1 – Develop Self Awareness

Self awareness is very important to help us break bad habits. We have to identify bad habits we need to break and good habits we want to create. We need to observe our habit for a week or more to know when, why, how and where we do our habit. This will give us an idea of current behavior. Now, clearly define the problem, likely consequences and the essential solutions.   

Step 2 – Define outcome

We need to decide what we want instead of our current habit. For example, if our bad habit is eating junk food on daily basis, our new habit goal may be “eating junk food ones in a month”. Our outcome needs to follow SMART goal setting rules of being Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Bound.

Step 3 – Get Motivated

To execute our new behavior consistently for a longer time until it becomes a habit, we need to be sufficiently motivated. Because changing a deeply ingrained habit can be difficult, it is important to have daily motivation to successfully change the habit. We have to be clear on the benefits we will enjoy by making the change.

For example, why would we want to skip smoking?

• Avoid the health issues
• Feel better about ourselves
• Impress our partner
• Responsibility of family

We also need to think about the consequence of not following the new improved behavior. Where will we be in 6 months, a year, 3 years from today if we continue our bad habit?  On the contrary, what will be the long term benefits 6 months, a year, 3 years from today if we adopt a positive new habit?

Step 4 – Planning & Strategy

Now that we are motivated to change, we need to create a plan and strategy for overcoming our bad habit or developing a positive new habit.

We need to plan in detail exactly how we are going to implement the new behavior. For example, if our habit is to quit smoking, we will

• Set a quit date
• Tell family, friends, and co-workers that we have planned to quit
• Remove cigarettes and other tobacco products from our home, car, and work
• Talk to our doctor about getting help to quit.

To ensure success, develop a winning strategy for overcoming smoking habit visit How to Quit Smoking

Step 5 – Mental Preparation

To successfully change a habit, we need to work on our thoughts and beliefs as well as our physical behavior.  It is important to deal with negative beliefs surrounding our habit because if we don’t another negative behavior might emerge to replace it.

For example, it will be difficult to control smoking if we believe with all our heart that we can never quit smoking or great deal of sacrifice and pain is involved to quit smoking or we can’t become fit and healthy even after we quit smoking.

Instead, we need to reinforce images of success and imagine ourselves doing the new habit with pleasure and ease. We can create affirmations and declarations to renew our mind. 

Step 6 – Implementation

To successfully condition a habit we will need to perform the habit every day for 21-30 days. During this time we will require both conscious focus and willpower. We will have to ‘consciously focus’ and ‘remember’ to do the new behaviour rather than the default behaviour.

Step 7 – Record, Refine & Review

To make sure we get the result we want, it is essential to record our progress and refine and review our habit at appropriate intervals. Seeing our accomplishments written down will enable us to feel the progress we are making in moving closer and closer towards our goal. No doubt it may take some time to achieve our ultimate goal, we will gain encouragement from seeing that we are moving in the right direction.

I would conclude this article with a positive note:

Choices Impact Success in Life

This is a new beginning for me. Being an introvert, I find writing a blog a challenging task. In my view, content written in a blog is a personal opinion of an author. The words expressed focus on the thoughts and opinions of the author. 

Well, to begin with I would like to highlight the basic objective of writing today's blog. A couple of days back, I read  Darry Hardy's Best selling book 'The Compound Effect'. The book proposes to convince the reader that the core idea behind a successful life is a compound effect of choices made, habits, consistency, momentum and influences. The author succeeds in explaining his points with apt examples at every instance. 

Our today's blog will concentrate on 'Choices impact Success in Life'. Each and every person may have his/her own view of being successful. Some may consider luxurious life as a success symbol, some may express a happy life as a success, some may view societal status as a measure of success, and so on. Whatever the meaning of success may be, it has to surpass various choices (decisions). 

Have you ever seen happiness (success) on mom's face when she managed to keep the smartphone away from her kid ? In this technology age, we find parents struggling to keep smartphones away from their babies (as young as a one year kid). When did this struggle start from? The first day when the kid hesitated to stop crying.. isn't it? In the effort to make the baby calm down, mom handed the smartphone to the kid, played a jingle song and danced to its tune. Fantasized with the audio-visual world, the kid started to demand the smartphone each and every time during meal time. Giving the smartphone to young kids to feed them meals is obviously a wrong choice. 

Choices determine the path of your career. 

You either go right or keep tumbling.

Being a teaching faculty, I would give an instance of students making career choices influenced by their friends or an acquaintance. The decision of career choices should be made considering the interest area of the student, his passion towards a particular profession, his ability and attitude to achieve and future opportunities for growth. In my opinion, around 30-35% of students make optimal choices considering all factors. It's no surprise to find these students making a  bright career. What about the remaining ? I am afraid to say, but some are carried away on a career path because of friend's influence, some due of parent's willingness, some due to teen age attraction, some due to unawareness of options, some due to family or financial constraints etc. Well, we can't predict where these students will land up in future. Hardly some of them with hard work and winning attitude may excel. 

You are free to choose, 

But you are not free from consequence of your choice.

How can I skip writing about the current lock-down situation in our country? We all are witnessing the Covid 19 Pandemic hit all over the world. Indian government has taken serious steps to combat the growth rate of spreading virus from the initial phase. Nonetheless, we have found many nuisances being created by general people instead of following the instructions led down by the government. A majority of Indians have given positive response to social distancing norms and stayed at homes to make lock-down successful, a meager population choose to protest by various means. We find that they are not sensitive to the situation around them. Their acts have eventually

resulted in spreading the virus on a large scale. 

Your life is a result of the choices you make, 

it is time to start making better choices.

Twenty first century education  emphasizes on providing holistic education and needs utilization of ICT tools for teaching learning purposes. Teachers should choose to adapt to the change, upgrade his/her knowledge base, equip with new skills and techniques and grace the change with a welcome attitude. COVID 19 pandemic has now made it obligatory to accept and adopt to new technology platforms to stay in the profession. 

Think about it. Everything in our life exists because we first made a choice about something. Each choice starts a behavior that over time becomes a habit. Choose poorly, and we just might find ourselves back at the drawing board, forced to make new, often harder choices. Don’t choose at all and we become passive receivers of whatever comes our way.

Choice is the most powerful tool we have. 

Everything boils down to choice. 

We exist in a field of infinite possibilities.

Every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens an infinite number of doors. 

At any point, we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. 

It is all in our hands, our hearts and our minds.

In essence, we make our choices, and then our choices make us. Every decision, no matter how  slight, alters the path of our life—whether or not to go to college, whom to marry, to drink or not to drink before driving, to say I love you or not. Every choice has an impact on the success of life.